All Paid Off

Today is a pretty momentous day. I paid off the last of my college student loans. Closing an ugly chapter in my life. 

Circa 2001

Loan-wise, I would have been OK if I stayed at the University of Wisconsin - River Falls were I went my freshman and sophomore year. The tuition was within my loan means; I was able to borrow the amount pretty easily. And I got a small stipend to play soccer there. I still had to have on-campus jobs for books and supplies, but it was financially manageable. 

But no! 

My dream was to work in New York City for Martha Stewart or Jane Pratt and I knew the little Wisconsin state school wasn't going to be a big help getting me there when my classmates were learning to write agriculture reports and about new farming techniques. So, I found the University of Rhode Island through an national exchange program and was able to pay Wisconsin tuition to attend my Junior year there. Well, I loved it and wanted to stay, so Senior year and the half year I had to extend because credits not transferring was way more loan amounts then I could get. 

Looking back, I was either really stubborn or brave to stick with it. The trauma of dealing with an unfriendly bursar's office and financial loan officers, begging for money, was horrible. I couldn't officially sign up for classes until I had the money to pay for the credits and I was scraping loans from any bank that would give them to me. I had to approach each professor and beg them to "write me in" to their grade books until I could pay the bursars' office -- sometimes that wasn't until finals. I also had no money for textbooks, so I would ask the nice professors to borrow their extra copies, which some had, and I'd choose which textbooks to use my credit cards to buy. 

Out of state tuition was well over $50,000 per year, if I'm remembering right. So I'd need four to six loans to cobble together the whole amount. With the financial aid office I'd apply for loans, wait, get denied and apply for others. And I'd get passed around the loan officers, too, so each appointment I had to repeat my situation and see what this new person could do to help me. (This is pre-internet, so everything was done on paper by mail!)  

The worst part of it all was being asked repeatedly: "isn't there someone in your family you could borrow the money from?" NO. No, there was no one. And if there was, don't you think I would have asked them instead of dealing with all this? It was infuriating. I'd have to suck up tears and anger while I waited for them to pull another loan option for me, another bank I could apply to -- even as we got down to the last $2,000. It makes me angry to just think about it. 

Then, after college and we were living paycheck to paycheck in Hoboken, commuting into New York City and scraping by, the loans were always there, taking any extra money I had and any hope of getting a nicer apartment, or taking a vacation and traveling to all the amazing places I dreamed of going. 

I was overwhelmed by owing SO MUCH MONEY, especially when you added on the interest. GAH! I never thought I'd ever repay it all. 

But, eventually, I consolidated all the loans into two, with a low interest rate. I focused on my credit card debt, which was massive starting in college and most of the 20s. And worked my butt off to build my career believing my education would help open doors to all the places I wanted to go. 

Now, 23 years later, no more monthly college loan bill. HALLELUJAH! 👏🙌