Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman Book Review

Bringing Up Bebe

Bringing Up Bebe

By Pameal Druckerman

I’m currently listening to Bringing Up Bebe on my commutes into work. I’ve been curious about the book ever since its release but decided I missed the boat, as my kids were already born. But to satisfy my occasional Francophile itch (my copy of Amalie is MIA) I grabbed the audiobook from the library and popped it in. And I’m happy I did.

My conclusion: Parisian mothers don’t have it all worked out (glad to affirm that we’re all floundering) but they view some parenting concepts in much different ways.

For instance, they embrace day care – mostly because it’s government subsidized and the care givers are practically pediatricians. They often say “the perfect mother doesn’t exist.” And they don’t believe in over-scheduling children but allowing them freedom to discover on their own, or “awaken.” Independent play is hugely important. Their kids sleep through the night at 3 months (mine did too) and are good eaters – though I suspect the latter is due to those excellent day care chefs. Their two parenthood icons are 18^th century philosopher Rousseau and a 20^th century psychologist whose books have never been translated into English. Like a government secret. It’s all very fascinating.

But Parisians have seemed to figure out how to stay true to themselves and not fold into the “I am a mother now” trap that I’ve seen some women do – forgetting all about their lives pre-child, as if they never had any true interests until baby came along and they could expound on the merits of warm wipes and PBS programming.  And going back to work is the norm in Paris (though, it IS the most expensive city in Europe). The author gave an example that, at dinner parties, if a stranger knew she had kids, they’d still ask “what do you do?” Where here, it’s always assumed I stay home with the kids. Always.

And I’ve been a Mom in Paris. Sure, for four glorious days, but I hit every playground we passed, had lunch in cafes and walked the streets with the kids like other mothers and children -- so I have a tiny bit of experience to pull from. The BEST was when the author mentioned the antique carousel by the Eiffel Tower. We went there, too!  

Lastly, I've always fantasied about raising kids in a different country, so hearing her experience has allowed me to live vicariously. There are plenty ups and downs of Americans raising little Parisians.

Overall, I’m glad I read/heard this book after a few years of parenting experience because I might not have been able to identify with everything being shared. The author is, after all, a seasoned journalist who did research and countless interviews. So it’s more of an anthropological study from which I can glean ideas or concepts with more care. Pre-kids, I might not have fully understood what was wise and what was plain unrealistic.

I wonder if there’s a raising kids in Spain book, too?