What Ana Does

I've always wanted my kids to be readers. Reading is transformative and has always been a part of my life, and I really wanted that for my girls. So, following common parenting practice, I read to them every night of their childhoods -- up until they were in to chapter books. And I loved it. It was ritual and sharing and the best part of some of my days.  But, once left to their own desires, they did not read. And it was frustrating to me because I followed the equation: read to kids = kids are readers. Ugh.  Following more parenting advice, I offered MONEY for completing books. Reading is not an "intrinsic" habit and therefore needs to be pushed along with "extrinsic" rewards. According to this parenting expert, this isn't a "bribe" but a "reward" for building a positive habit.  Bribes are done at the point of pain (eg. "if you're good for the next five minutes, I'll give you a chocolate treat") and don't lead to go...

Entering our third month of quarantine and there are certainly things I'm liking and disliking. ⤊Curbside Shopping - I just order something (Micheal's for crafts, Pet Supplies Plus for dog stuff, etc.) and I pull up to the store, call them, and they deliver my order in my trunk. No interaction. No awkward checkout conversation. Bam. It's dynamite! ⤋ Grocery Shopping - We'd rather reserve the online grocery pickup options for high-risk groups, such as the elderly, so we're making a big grocery shop once a week -- usually on weekends since we're both working full time. I dread these trips. People in masks, some in gloves and more, avoiding eye contact, this hollow look of the apocalypse in their faces. Gah. It's unsettling. Once the initial panic subsided, and there was no sign of a real food shortage (at least in our area), the experience has gotten better. But it's still a stressful trip. ⤄ Working From Home  - Juggling is really the name of the ...

Now that my girls are school-aged and don't need me as much to stay alive , I'm in a constant see-saw of feeling like I'm not doing enough and like I'm doing way too much. When they were little, it was a constant stream of making sure they were fed, changed, clean, content, polite, active, rested, etc. Babies have a basic daily schedule that, over time, becomes more flexible. But now, that schedule is almost adult-ish, it revolves around school, meals and getting to bed on time. At the same time, I'm now in the business of raising adults, teaching them the basics of living, being independent and expecting more from yourself. But, at the same time, they're still kids and not great at some of the most basic domestic or life skills. Plus, I'm a stay-at-home-mom, so I have the ability to do their laundry, clean their rooms and wash up after them because it's what I do anyway. Thus, my constant battle. Today, I made them breakfast, but they made t...

Ever since we moved to Paris, well, actually, since becoming a parent, I've wanted the girls to learn independence. And living in a city is a great way to extend more opportunities for them to be independent, especially when it comes to transportation. In a city, walking to places is simple and safe (mostly, those motorcycles are the worst!) and completely new to our daily life, coming from the suburbs. So, Leah gets herself to school and back. And Alice is walking home from ballet class on her own. (She begged to be allowed to do this, and I am so proud of her doing it.) Of course I made sure their street-crossing skills were good, understood the way home and all the stranger-danger stuff. Plus, Leah sometimes walks with a friend and lately she's been stopping for a chocolate croissant on the way home. It's absolutely great. It's these opportunities, to get themselves to and from places, that I can't give them in suburbia. But it's just the thing to ...

I've been doing a lot of research on tweaking my diet to promote some weight loss. Now that I've got a weekly exercise routine in motion, it just makes sense to alter my eating so I'm slimming down a bit, too. My big question is this ... how do I introduce this concept of diet change and weight loss to my girls in a healthy way?  The last thing I want to do is put them on a path to yo-yo diets and body issues. But, at the same time, it's healthy to discuss diet and how food that works to feed your body, etc. And we do talk about food, including limiting sweets at night -- they would eat a pound of ice cream if they could -- and why we add a protein or a green with each meal. So, it's not a completely new concept. I just hear stories from other women about how their mothers "obsessed over food and counting calories" and how it really changed their relationship with food and their body image and, boy, does that give me pause. Not what I want at all. ...

The first week the kids rode their scooters (or les trottinettes) to school, I was a wreck. They careened down the sidewalks, going to fast. They just missed knocking over people on the sidewalks, or would follow so closely to people walking ... it would drive me crazy. "Leah! Slow down!" "Alice, Be Careful!" What is the social expectations of kids commuting to school on scooters? Who has the right of way on a busy city street? But than, after about a week, I started to chill out. So what if they speed past pedestrians? Or messed with traffic patterns while trying to cross the street?  The girls are getting cigarette smoke blown in their faces every time we go out. (Blargh!) They are being force to halt as people just stop to window shop or look at their phone. Or walk their scooters over cobblestoned streets and huge sidewalk cracks. Not to mention swerve to miss dog poo left on the street. This is a small village in a residential district of Paris. A...

Week three of NO SCHOOL and the kids are officially crawling up the walls. And pushing us to the ends of our patience. Not having their toys, own spaces and the usual activities, with the addition of some sleep deprivation and the frustration of trying to find things in a different country ... and we're all losing our minds. A little. Luckily, school orientation is on Tuesday, and they start back on Wednesday. HALLELUJAH! Not to be a trader to my own children, but I'll get A LOT more done without them tagging along. Plus, this is the state of my kitchen (in the permanent apartment) .... so, there's some work to be done ... Related posts: More about our Paris move

Last, but not least, in this three-part Totes series is the jam-packed, summer-ready Mom Purse. I'm a big fan of having a few purses at the ready: a tiny one for just my wallet and phone, a medium sized bag for adult day trips when I don't have to pack like a Mom and a big Mom tote. And I like to switch based on the need for the day, when I can. Items very in each of the bags, but the Mom Tote is what I tend to use the most. It's slightly over-sized for a purse and I can jam whatever I need into it -- or out of it. Here's the rundown of what's usually inside: The Summer MOM TOTE Wallet, keys and iPhone, obviously Sunscreen Sunglasses for me and child-sized Notebook for to-do and grocery lists A little bag of Advil, lotion, lip balm and Altoids Tissues Felt pens in assorted colors, also a Sharpie and pen/pencils Hand sanitizer  iPads - mine and/or the kids' Book or Kindle or magazine S'Well Water Bottles, because they're friggin...

To continue the Tote project for the summer, let's tackle the Park and Tennis Totes. This summer, Leah is taking a Sunday tennis class at a nearby park. This gives Alice and I the perfect excuse to play outside for an hour. Here's the lowdown on the tote ... The Park Tote Park Tote This is the bag that will have a hundred things to do outside, so we don't get bored waiting for Leah and fall back at staring at our iPads. Sunscreen Hats Rain gear - jackets and umbrellas Picnic blanket Books Coloring books/paper Deck of cards  The kite I got on sale at Target two years ago And I'll toss in snacks like clementines and granola bars, and icy water bottles. Tennis Tote All this bag includes is our ... tennis rackets, one for everyone in the family new containers of balls larger practice balls water bottles and sunscreen so we can head to a park at a moments notice and practice Leah's new-found tennis skills. We'd likely bring along the P...

Yeah, I totally got this ... Sourced from Pinterest ... now on the blackboard near the garage door.

For a long time, I've been resistant about bringing my daughters to the gym with me. And it was an effective excuse for years. It just felt so selfish. I as putting myself before my babies. They were so little and I was a full-time working mom, wasn't it better to spend time with them and not on myself? But, geez, this is totally dumb logic. There are plenty of reasons adults need to be active and exercise. And taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. You can't pour from an empty cup. So all parents need to take time for themselves. Duh. We teach our kids about nutrition and making good choices about what to eat, so the gym is just an extension of that. It's a habit they will need to learn, too. Pay your grocer today or your doctor tomorrow is the adage for eating right, and it works the same if you replace grocer with gym. So ... this advice presupposes YOU love the gym, and you might not. But it's never too late to find an activity you can get passionate ab...

There's nothing worse than scurrying around the house trying to pull all the necessary items together for a simple trip to the park or pool. So each summer I try to create some pre-packed totes that sit on a hook and are ready for walking out the door. This summer we're going to need a Pool Tote , a Tennis Tote and a Park Tote . Plus, a slightly-more jam-packed Mom Bag . Let's start with the Pool ... My Pool Tote - Minus the Towels Town Pool Tote This tote is the MOST important because we love the town pool. And, because we have a membership, we can wander in and stay however long we want. There's no pre-planning or spending "at least 4 hours to make it worth it." Here's the list of Pool Tote items, in priority: Goggles - two, of course Pool diving toys  Several large pool towels Spray sunscreen and a sunscreen stick for faces  A baseball hat to keep the sun off little faces   Magazine, this week it's Magnolia Journal Water bottle t...

It's been said over and over again but there's really nothing better than taking some time away from your life and kids and just getting away with your spouse. Sounds obvious, right? Working on the marriage is important, letting the kids fend for themselves with a different supervising adult (in our case it was my Mom) is a great experience and getting away from the day-to-day -- and especially WINTER -- is therapeutic. We just got back from a long weekend with life-long friends in Puerto Rico and it was delightful. The kids had a great weekend with Nana and we had some dedicated time to relax, reconnect and let loose. Drinks, laughter, swearing and doing next to nothing were the themes of the weekend. I'm back with a sunburn and a ton of tasks but feeling more clear-headed than before. Ready to get it all done.

The girls are constantly growing out of their shoes. Last year, Alice skipped two sizes -- it was crazy. I had size 10 and 11 shoes I'd been hanging on to from Leah for no reason. Anyway, to keep up with the phenomenal foot growth, I do a big shoe shop twice a year. I am usually very grumpy about the shoes at the stores near me. They're not great quality and they're sorta ugly. Let's just say I avoid the Sketchers store at the mall. Which means I go through Zappos. Here's a tip for Zappos shopping ... sometimes the plethora of choices can stymie the kids. They get all discombobulated and dizzy. SO. MANY. CHOICES. So here's what I do: I go through and save several different pairs to My Favorites, and have them look through that list. It cuts down the decisions to a handful. I also find if they have shoes that are kinda interesting and comfortable, the kids will keep wearing them. If they are boring, they get shoved to the back of the closet. BUT FIRST, I ...

I KNOW it's only the end of July, but school starts here in one month, people, ONE MONTH. Eeep!! A Page From My Notebook: Holy Crap So, I'm starting to freak out a little at all the tasks that accompany this time of year. Wondering if I can get a jump on school supply shopping. And starting to wrap my head around all the decisions I'll need to make in the next four weeks. For example, what is Leah doing after school this year? Babysitter? Can she manage alone? Send her to after-care? When is Leah's soccer practices starting up again? Does Alice want to play soccer? When will we get the park district catalog of activities for this fall? Will there be a Saturday dance class for Alice? And, inevitably, I get to the question: How will we manage it all on top of Dave's work schedule? And finally, should I find a new part time job or stay at home to make this all work? The downward spiral continues . Deep breath ... the good news is there's one more ...

This summer is going to be bananas! I've been working through calendars and laying out plans for our summer months and it's starting to scare me. Let's review what's on the way: Dave has a week-long conference downtown and a European trip -- back to back. That's two weeks of single-parenting! I have a work conference for four days in Denver  A week later, we're flying out for a week-long camp on the east coast The day after we get back, Dave and I are getting a couples weekend in Las Vegas  A week later my in-laws are visiting, with possibly my sister-in-law and her family And my sister and her adorable daughters may also be coming for a visit around that same time.  Not to mention the mix of day camps I scheduled for the kids. Some weeks they'll be in our town, others they'll be near my office.  All wonderful, exciting events I am looking forward to, but it will make our summer -- our short, wonderful summer -- just fly by. Keeping Coo...

The Peace of Wild Things When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. -By Wendell Berry I found this posted on this beautiful baking blog.  

Despite being the dead of winter with lows in the negative numbers and even too cold for Benny to walk to the bus stop, it's the time to start planning our summer camp plans. The park district camp registration is on Feb. 6 and if you aren't registering that day, there's a chance you won't get the sessions and locations you want. The horror.  We asked the kids what they want to do this summer and Alice insists on being home all day (there never was a more committed homebody) and Leah would rather "go anywhere" but back of the park district camp they were all last year. Neither of these scenarios is even close to possible, but I appreciate their input. After the success of the botanic garden mini-camp they attended for over winter break, I decided to break up their summer and send them for a few weeks at one camp then the other, which should keep them on their toes and not stuck in camp monotony. And the sessions really work together and will provide a go...

This Saturday we went to a party in downtown Chicago with work colleagues ... and no kids!! Sure, there was a fair amount of office gossip discussed, but it wasn't too bad. And there were a few spouses to chat with. And adult beverages. And no juice boxes. And lots of adult language. It had been awhile since I've been to a party and didn't see small kids running around. A nice change. And the view from his windows were pretty cool ... View of Chicago From the Condo Sometimes, being an adult is kinda nice! 

In the Stacks I read once that parenting was all about preparing your kids to leave you. Which is a depressing thought. But true, I guess. We want our daughters to be functioning adults contributing to society, when all is said and done. So, if I get across these concepts (in no particular order) by the time they are teenagers (and no longer listening to me), I'll feel like I (mostly) did my job as a parent: The Library is a Cool Place -- because they are. There's magic in books. It's Cool Just to Be Who You Are -- I should just wish for a family unicorns to move into my basement because girls are a mess with this stuff, but a mom can dream. Include being independent in this one, too. Food comes from farms, not factories.  Duh, right? But you'd be surprised how disconnected a french fry is from the potato in my pantry. Also include good food choice. They don't always need to pick the right ones, but at least they're aware. Soda and gum are gross...