What Ana Does

Alice is our huge Swiftie. And we tried but failed to get Taylor Swift Eras Tour tickets when she rolled through the USA last summer. And the secondary market ticket prices were absolutely ridiculous. $5,000 a ticket? Even the $2,000 was out of the question. So when she released dates for her European tour, it made sense to try for tickets. We had planned to go to Europe this summer for Leah's graduation trip and we knew we would spend less than $2000/ticket, even with the flights and hotel.  It was a very stressful experience, but I got GREAT tickets in Milan for the three of us to last summer for less than $500/ticket. We just had to wait 12 months before the big night.  We watched the Eras Tour movie on Disney, watched all the videos on social media from other fans at the concert. I studied the lyrics all year and ran on the treadmill so I was in fit for the 3.5 hour show. We picked out outfits and made 60 friendship bracelets to exchange at the show. We needed those 12 mon...

I struggled a lot with household chores for the kids, allowances and money. I read a few parenting books about allowances and listened to some parenting experts, hoping to land on something that felt right for my house and kids. ( Here's a book on that subject I didn't agree with. )  But with quarantine and everyone being HOME, I really had to find something that would work. Because if it was just ME AND DAVID putting away dishes every day, I was going to lose it.  For a few years, we've been working on this clipboard of chores, where I had listed chores and how much they paid out, but there was room to add and negotiate price. Alice got especially good a bartering. And I was good about paying immediately for awhile, but eventually we started to list "I Owe Yous" to the girls and it got a little meaningless. As you know, I'm not good with consistency.  But while home, we figured out if we added up the money on the chalkboard, we could keep track of what they w...

I blame it on my Instagram stream. Here's my secret wish ... I want to be a homemaker. Okay, and not the homemaker you're thinking. This one: But maybe. Because I do these things on weekends and spotty over the week, but I want to be dedicated. I want to master these things. I want to make more food from scratch . Bread. Yogurt. Cheese. Ketchup. Granola bars. Cheese crackers. Tortillas! My heroes are those bloggers who do this. The cookbooks that they put out. I read them with awe. I try but I'm no where near where I want to be. I dream about spending time preparing meals for my family ... now that the kids are older and we can just about enjoy the same food. And having the time to really plan and prepare. Soak beans and make the tortillas from scratch. Stuff like that. I think half of what we buy around the house is because we didn't know we already owned it. Nothing is in the right place. We need to organize and get rid of things we don't need/us...

In the Stacks I read once that parenting was all about preparing your kids to leave you. Which is a depressing thought. But true, I guess. We want our daughters to be functioning adults contributing to society, when all is said and done. So, if I get across these concepts (in no particular order) by the time they are teenagers (and no longer listening to me), I'll feel like I (mostly) did my job as a parent: The Library is a Cool Place -- because they are. There's magic in books. It's Cool Just to Be Who You Are -- I should just wish for a family unicorns to move into my basement because girls are a mess with this stuff, but a mom can dream. Include being independent in this one, too. Food comes from farms, not factories.  Duh, right? But you'd be surprised how disconnected a french fry is from the potato in my pantry. Also include good food choice. They don't always need to pick the right ones, but at least they're aware. Soda and gum are gross...

Usually I buy a cute outfit for each of my girls to wear to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving. In year's past, they've been semi-coordinated (the only time of year I do this, I promise) but often I just strive for something matching and void of stains. This year, I allowed them to online shop with me. This made me nervous because they often point to clothes I think are ugly or ridiculous looking. Am I going to buy them a sweatshirt with a over-glittered "Selfie" written across the front, no! No, I will not. I've been burned on the Disney-character t-shirt they beg for and never wear again, too. Yes, shopping for them is usually a solo effort by me. But sometimes I like to take the "temperature" of what kind of clothes they're "into" this year. I don't want to be accused of not allowing them self-expression, right? And I should be "guiding" their styles just a bit so they don't turn into fashion disasters. (That'...

This time of year makes me loony. Getting the girls ready for back to school, rearranging schedules, the gap between camp and school -- it's a hectic time of year. All with the promise that, eventually, we'll be back in the rhythm of the school year. Here's the overview: There's a one-week gap between camp and school starting. As in, kids home. This is a working mom's worst nightmare, people. Work schedules are being tossed around, as us parents play a game of whose work day is more important. The school supplies were bought this weekend. Though, Target was OUT of wide-ruled notebooks! Completely. (The Target workers made it out like it was my fault for waiting so long to shop. Two weeks early.) So, I will be conducting a scavenger hunt next weekend for appropriately-colored notebooks and folders. Goodie. There's the after-school plans to make and sign up for. The coordination of activities, busing, homework, and caregivers. Throw in soccer, piano, dru...

I love to travel! And so it's important to me that our kids our comfortable travelers, too. I want them to understand how big the world is and that there is so much to see out there. For that reason, and the fact that my sisters live far away from me, we're getting on a plane a few times every year. This means a lot of packing. And when it comes to packing, I'm all about the strategy. I'd like to someday be a Master Carryon Packer. If there was a Master degree program on family travel and packing, I would take it. And then I'd have business cards created. The challenge lies in the kids -- as they grow, the rules change. Tucking away extra pacifiers gives way to packing crayons and markers, to packing iPads and chapter books. It's ever changing. Though, as they get older, they can be responsible for their own bags and keeping themselves entertained on the plane. The strategy of what goes in their bags and in mine just adds more variables to the equation. And ...

And just like that ... school is over and the girls' day camp program is up and running. Suddenly, we're done with bus stops and homework, and thrown into packing swimsuits, sun screen, lunches and water bottles in a daily backpack. Soccer is also over for the season, which opens up our evenings and empties our weekends. So now I'm looking at a handful of weekends open for adventure. Of course I'm thinking about road trips, travel and house projects to take advantage of the three months of tolerable weather here. I'll make a list with the best intentions. But, as usual, we'll probably enter the Fall regretting all the hours we squandered in the house. But for now, let's be optimistic. It's summer! Related posts: More summer planning

Leah as a two-year-old was especially outspoken about what she wanted to wear each morning. So early on in this mothering-thing I decided one thing for certain: I was not going to argue over clothes. As long as it was weather-appropriate, so be it. Pick your battles, moms, and this is one bridge I wasn't going to die on. Besides, clothes are a form of self-expression. So why curb it if she was so insistent on choosing? Because of this, I am often amused by the outfits they pull together. Alice's outfit today was a doozy. Long sweater shirt, non-matching skirt, knee-high socks (because it's chilly today), a polka-dot sweater two-sizes too small and red shoes. The Whole Look Knee-High Socks with Inside Out Characters Totally adorable. Brief aside: I do break this rule on trips, because I pack for them. And when they ask me to help them decide what to wear -- which Leah almost never does. Of course. 

Odd fact of the day .... The French government pays for a mother’s tummy tuck after the birth of her third child (you do have to have at least 3 babies to qualify). Found on this blog about raising kids in Southern France. Yes, I'm day-dreaming again. Related posts: All the fancy quotes My love of France runs deep, people

This fall our family is hitting a major milestone. For the first time since Leah arrived in our lives, we will not be paying full-day daycare tuition. Cue the trumpets! With Alice starting Kindergarten and Leah in third grade, my property taxes will now be funding their education -- instead of handing over a percentage of my paycheck. Lovelies!  So, I'm starting to consider after-school options with the knowledge that: a) Leah's homework load is expected to double. b) Alice is going to be in morning Kindergarten, and should be in the afternoon KEEP program at the day care she's in now -- to give her a little stability. (That's an out-of-pocket expense, but a much smaller one.) And, c) Leah cannot continue in her current after-school program, as they are not supporting her academically. ("There was no time to do homework, Mom.") This is where I get on my see-saw and start wavering. With them at school all day -- and lower school bills -- it's t...

Thanks to all that we're juggling -- work, meals, household chores, home improvements, upcoming trips, kid activities, playdate, etc. to infinity -- sometimes you just lose sight of your parenting goals and strategies. Am I right? Plus, you constantly have to adjust rules as they grow up. It's a lot. For example, my focus on family meals started strong but has really dropped off lately. As has controlling the screen time the girls are getting during the day. (It's winter, we're all sick of being inside. Sure, watch another Nick Jr. show.) So, a few weekends ago it seemed the right time to pull out my parenting books and remind myself of my own little parenting curriculum by realigning my goals and rules with the some of the advice I get from my current two go-to parenting books. The books in my repertoire have changed over the years, I once had tantrum books and "how to say no" to two-year-olds. Now, I'm currently hanging on to these two: My Two Cu...

After reading "Bringing Up Bebe" last year ( see my review ), I'm becoming fascinated by how moms in other countries raise their kids. The A Cup of Jo blog that I enjoy did a series last summer that asked a bunch of international mothers about their experiences and it's GREAT reading. I was most interested in "Raising Your Kids in Norway" post because I'm roughly half Norwegian (though, you'd never know to look at me) and I was raised by a mostly-Norwegian mother. The Kids and I in France According to this woman's experience, one of the main tenants of Norwegian parenting is toughing it out. Families are self-contained units and don't ask for help outside the family. (Sound familiar, siblings?!) If you're in a public place and your kid freaks out, you're on your own. Interestingly, the post about raising kids in Northern Ireland is exactly opposite. It takes a village there. Also, everyone works. Everyone. Women don't...

The Star Chart!  At the tender ages of 5 and 7, we're finally out of the potty-training, help-feeding, dress-you, do-everything-for-you stage that is baby and toddlerhood. And we're onto teaching these two girls how to be functioning humans, capable of taking care of themselves. (I'm a big proponent of teaching the concept of independence as early as possible.) To that end, we've been using a Star Chart for the last month or so and have seen some pretty good results, so I thought I'd share. Our chart is less about disciplining bad behavior (we did that last year) and more focused on nurturing good habits. Habits, after all, are formed by doing something 12 times, unless you're under age 10, then that number is more like 1,200. Our categories include: Brushing teeth, and hair. Make your bed. Dirty clothes in the basket. Tidy your own room. etc. Pretty simple daily habits most adults follow. My end game here is to reduce my nagging.  This script is ge...

Two Inquisitive Girls I get asked a lot of inquisitive, thoughtful questions by my girls. Questions that range from personal stories to prehistoric history. It's like being followed around by surprise pop-quizzers. You never know what's in their heads. If I had know they were going to show such an interest in their birthdays, I would have documented the day better. And how I picked their names; they love "I took one look at you and thought you looked like a Leah." And "I wanted to name you Beatrice but your dad, Auntie Liza and Auntie Kiki put their foot down." At this point, Dave chimes in "your welcome." Alice has a lot of questions about growing old and what happens when your face "gets all squishy." Will my face get all squishy? Will her's? Then there are questions that come out if left field. This morning while snuggling with Alice, she sighed deeply and asked about the dinosaurs. "Where are they now? Where did t...

In my feminist-fueled 20's I thought that if I ever had girls, I'd dissuade them from Barbies. By doing so, I'd protect them from feelings of low self-esteem and bad body image. In their place, I'd find ugly, wooden doll-like figures who have no interest in today's fashions or dramatic accessories. I see now that keeping my girls away from Barbie is about as possible as keeping them away from a playground on a sunny day.  Our Barbie Bin In retrospect, the logistics of banning Barbie would have been a nightmare. It would have meant telling all my relatives and friends not to buy Barbie products at every birthday and gift-giving holidays (repeatedly). I'd have to write "no Barbies" on all their birthday party invitations from age 4 - 14. Potential playdates would need to be screened and warned of our preferences for non-Barbie play. We'd have to guide our girls to change conversational topics away from Barbie movies and new dolls on the p...

I've got two little girls, so I'll pick up any books that features strong female characters with big dreams for the future. "Grace for President" is one of those books. Grace is horrified when she learns there hasn't been any female presidents, so she runs for president of her class -- against a popular boy who wins the science fairs. Not only is there a great message in the end, it explains the electoral collage -- which is a bonus for adult readers who find it confusing. ** This is the beginning of a new series of favorite picture books in the household. With a second-grader, she has to read 20 minutes a day. And picking among her favorite books helps. But, let's be frank, these are really my favorite books. 

This week I had parent-teacher conferences with the teachers of both girls. It just worked out that way, scheduling-wise. Both girls are doing well. Both have things we need to work on. (Alice doesn't eat at lunch. Why? She’s a picky eater and she chats too much and runs out of time.) I learned a lot about their days in the classroom and how I can help them succeed. But most of all, I learned that parent-teacher conferences is now a task that belongs to David. I cried. I’m not sure why. When I started while talking to Alice’s teacher, the topic was mundane day-to-day things. But it somehow made tears sprang to my eyes and I couldn't stop them. It didn't take much to turn into full-on weeping.  I got a tissue. I attempted to keep the conversation flowing. The teacher really likes Alice. She’s a great kid. I swell up with pride and weep some more.  Leah’s teacher was via phone, thankfully, and I was able to keep the tears at bay, t...

So maybe not an idiot ... because the first day of school is always, universally, the day after Labor Day. Minnetonka started after Labor Day, Dave's school was after Labor Day and in New Jersey where Leah started Kindergarten, too. Like Election Day is always the first Tuesday in November. So, maybe I just assumed the same was true here in Illinois. I was wrong. The first day for First Graders is Aug. 22. Does that strike anyone else as just a random date? School in August? It's sacrilege! It's crazy! Are we going to voting in Oct., too? Anyway, idiot that I am, I didn't check and now Leah will miss four days after only being in school for four days to hang out at the camp. But I have to think other people make Labor Day travel plans, right?! Doh!