It's 1996.
I board a train in St. Paul headed to Rhode Island where I'll be a domestic exchange student (yup, that's a real thing). My boyfriend at the time and sister Liza see me off. I'm a wreck, but I'm confident in my decision to follow my dream and go to college on the east coast.
Even though I've never ever been to the east coast. And certainly never ever been to Rhode Island. And I don't even have any family or friends there. It's completely foreign to me.
And I've never been on a train before but the ticket to Rhode Island was cheaper than air travel (though, this was pre-google so I had a hard time making that comparison), despite it taking two days of travel. It just sounded more "romantic."
So ... I get myself loaded and find a seat and stare out the window and ... I start crying. Sobbing. I sit in the bathroom as the train leaves and I cry harder -- that crying that hurts your belly and produces little whining noises. It takes an hour or so to get myself under control and head back to my seat where I cry silently all the way through Wisconsin.
I think "ok, this was a massive mistake. MASSIVE. I'm 20. I'm not ready to be so far from home. The next stop is Milwaukee. Andy (my boyfriend then) is from around there. I'll get off at that stop, find a payphone (this was pre-cellphone) and call him."
"Ok. Good plan," I think and breath easier. I get myself ready to gather my belonging; my two huge non-rolling suitcases and backpack. It's going to be fine.
Then, we arrive just outside the Milwaukee Amtrak station and stop. And we wait there. Probably waiting for another train to leave the station. And I look out my window, thinking all this. My cheeks still tear-stained. And out the window I see this ...
Maybe there's an announcement that these glass domes are the Mitchell Conservatory. Maybe not and I found out what they're called later. But I knew they were a botanic garden of some sort. From my vantage point they looked so intriguing and cool and wonderful. The sun was glittering off the glass and I just stared at them.
And I starting thinking again; "there's sooo much out in the world to see. This is just the tip of the iceberg. And Rhode Island gives me access to see the East Coast and all that's there ... the ocean, Boston, New York City, etc."
The world is so big. And I haven't any of it.
The small college campus I had attended for my first two years, the University of Wisconsin - River Falls, was just a tiny corner of the world and I wanted so much more.
So all these thoughts are swirling in my head. And I think I'm on my way. I'm on my way!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. And I was on my first step.
I stayed on the train.
I dried my tears. I journaled my thoughts. Late that night, I met a boy named Cory who was going to school in Boston. We played cards with a few other college-bound students. A few of them got off the train the next morning in Indiana, a few more in Pennsylvania. I talked to an old man who was in World War II and will never fly in a plane again. But he has to visit is daughter in Mississippi, so this is how he travels. "You meet the most interesting people on a train. There's more time for conversation," he explains to me.
The train didn't make it to Rhode Island. Because of delays, they rerouted me to Massachusetts and I had to take a cab to URI, but that's a whole other story.
That vision of the three shiny greenhouse cones have always stayed with me. And I wonder if maybe I hadn't seen them, if I had panicked, gotten off the train and pulled the plug on the whole thing, where would I have ended up. My whole life from that point on would have been vastly different. A world of difference.
So long story short, I dragged the family to the Mitchell Conservatory this weekend for Mother's Day to walk around inside. Be somewhere warm and green for a while (it's been a tough winter). And silently give thanks for the small part it had in my life journey.
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I board a train in St. Paul headed to Rhode Island where I'll be a domestic exchange student (yup, that's a real thing). My boyfriend at the time and sister Liza see me off. I'm a wreck, but I'm confident in my decision to follow my dream and go to college on the east coast.
Even though I've never ever been to the east coast. And certainly never ever been to Rhode Island. And I don't even have any family or friends there. It's completely foreign to me.
And I've never been on a train before but the ticket to Rhode Island was cheaper than air travel (though, this was pre-google so I had a hard time making that comparison), despite it taking two days of travel. It just sounded more "romantic."
So ... I get myself loaded and find a seat and stare out the window and ... I start crying. Sobbing. I sit in the bathroom as the train leaves and I cry harder -- that crying that hurts your belly and produces little whining noises. It takes an hour or so to get myself under control and head back to my seat where I cry silently all the way through Wisconsin.
I think "ok, this was a massive mistake. MASSIVE. I'm 20. I'm not ready to be so far from home. The next stop is Milwaukee. Andy (my boyfriend then) is from around there. I'll get off at that stop, find a payphone (this was pre-cellphone) and call him."
"Ok. Good plan," I think and breath easier. I get myself ready to gather my belonging; my two huge non-rolling suitcases and backpack. It's going to be fine.
Then, we arrive just outside the Milwaukee Amtrak station and stop. And we wait there. Probably waiting for another train to leave the station. And I look out my window, thinking all this. My cheeks still tear-stained. And out the window I see this ...
And I starting thinking again; "there's sooo much out in the world to see. This is just the tip of the iceberg. And Rhode Island gives me access to see the East Coast and all that's there ... the ocean, Boston, New York City, etc."
The world is so big. And I haven't any of it.
The small college campus I had attended for my first two years, the University of Wisconsin - River Falls, was just a tiny corner of the world and I wanted so much more.
So all these thoughts are swirling in my head. And I think I'm on my way. I'm on my way!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. And I was on my first step.
I stayed on the train.
I dried my tears. I journaled my thoughts. Late that night, I met a boy named Cory who was going to school in Boston. We played cards with a few other college-bound students. A few of them got off the train the next morning in Indiana, a few more in Pennsylvania. I talked to an old man who was in World War II and will never fly in a plane again. But he has to visit is daughter in Mississippi, so this is how he travels. "You meet the most interesting people on a train. There's more time for conversation," he explains to me.
The train didn't make it to Rhode Island. Because of delays, they rerouted me to Massachusetts and I had to take a cab to URI, but that's a whole other story.
That vision of the three shiny greenhouse cones have always stayed with me. And I wonder if maybe I hadn't seen them, if I had panicked, gotten off the train and pulled the plug on the whole thing, where would I have ended up. My whole life from that point on would have been vastly different. A world of difference.
So long story short, I dragged the family to the Mitchell Conservatory this weekend for Mother's Day to walk around inside. Be somewhere warm and green for a while (it's been a tough winter). And silently give thanks for the small part it had in my life journey.
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| My Crew |
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| The Girls |
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| Prickly Pear Tree |
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