Goals and Frustration

Leaving New Jersey we had some serious goals. I mean, we didn’t just pick-up and leave, right? I think about those goals everyone once in a while and stifle a laugh. Then, a sob. Because some of those goals were not met. Not even close. And it frustrates me.

Killing my commute time was high on this list. In New Jersey, I was reliant on NJ transit to get me into New York City each day. There was a train strict schedule, so every morning and evening I felt the stress of hitting all the milestones that meant I would be on time for the train. And home to the kids.

One of the catalysts for the big move out was to be freed of train schedules and that hectic morning stress. Not to mention the 2.5 hours a day that was spent in transit between work and home each day. Sure, I read a lot and got to talk to my friend Sonja, but getting home at 6:30, throwing together something frozen or pasta -- or even toast -- was not going to fly once elementary school homework and after-school extracurriculars become more available.

 So, we moved. And got a great house near David’s office (8-min commute) and hoped for the best.

Evening Drive
Fast-forward to the present and I’m at a good company working full-time -- 55 minutes away from home! I’m back to a daily 2-hour commute. This time, in my car. And, again, I’m not getting home until 6 to rush through dinner and homework and cleanup. Ballet class, soccer and any other weeknight activities are a challenge.

Sure, I’m trying to make the most of it (audiobook reviews!). And most days my schedule is flexible enough to leave an hour before I need to get home for daycare pick-up. And I try to keep my cool in the morning, as my first meeting isn’t until 9:30. But, this was soooo not the plan.

And it’s frustrating that I don’t have a solution. I’d like to work and contribute to my family financially. Living far from a city center is making that a challenge. And no one is paying me to take care of my house, write or cook dinner. (Yet.)   So, some days I sit in traffic and think WHY did we uproot our life?

Maybe my next post will be the other side of the coin – all those goals we DID accomplish with this move. For now, I’ll just wallow.




Relate posts:
Read more about our moves

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